12/27/2004

I get no kick from champagne, mere alcohol it doesn't thrill me at all....

So, its Monday. Two days after christmas. Man, it was here and gone so quick, seems to get faster every year. My older brother left Sunday, and my sister gets on a plane this afternoon. This was probably the best vacation home I've had since I was a little kid. Went to see Meet the Fockers on Christmas day. That movie struck a few cords with me. It was a pretty decent movie. Didn't really feel like a great sequel, but it was still really funny. I probably found more to laugh about in it than anyone else in my family though.
Anyway, taking off for Greenwood today. I'll be staying with Dana and Paul till the dorms open back up. New Years Party/Jenny's Bday/ Valerie's Bday party on Friday. Can't wait for that. I got a Karaoke machine for christmas, I'm gonna bring that with me. I'm also planning on not drinking, which will bet the start of my new year's resolution; that being, permanently cutting back on my alcohol intake. It actually got a decent start two weeks ago at Jeff's when we went to Karaoke with Eric and Dana's parents. We don't drink around them. I actually sang better than I thought I would, and it felt really good to not be drinking because I'm singing, and singing because I'm drinking.
Well that's all I got for now. Happy New Year all! See you all soon!

Here's this week's list:

Book: The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald
Song: I Get a Kick out of You Frank Sinatra
TV Show: Smallville
Quote:
"Oh Dear God…thank you…you are such a good God to us and such a kind and gentle and accommodating God. And we thank you, oh sweet lord of hosts for the smorgasbord you have so aptly laid at our table this day and each day by day, day by day by day. Oh dear lord, three things we pray…to love thee more dearly, to see thee more clearly, to follow thee more nearly, day by day by day…Amen" -Ben Stiller, Meet the Parents

That's it, probably wont get to update until after the New Year.

-Bren

12/23/2004

So set 'em up Joe, I got a little story, I think you should know...

I'm at home still. Drinking a beer. Missing my girlfriend. Being bored. Still watching X-Files reruns....And missing my girlfriend. Smoking cigarettes, and missing my girlfriend.
So anyway.......Story I promised. Quick version cause i'm not really feelin up to this, but a promise is a promise.
Monday night my buddy Fred and I went to see Ocean's Twelve at the Carmike Cinemas here in good ole Columbia. While we were in the theatre, watching a movie about theives, a great irony was being committed upon Fred's car. When we emerged from the darkened theatre, out into the chilly night air (sorry for being over dramatic, like I said, I'm drinking a beer so it kinda goes with the territory.) we approaced the car in order to make our departure. When I approached I noticed something wrong with the door handle. There was a huge piece missing from it. I looked up, and the entire passenger side window had been broken out. Upon closer inspection, his CD player had been ripped completely out of the dash board. The funny part was, they didnt touch the jewelry in the back seat, or the books on the floor infront of the passenger seat, or the cds and dvds that were in plain sight on the visor above the steering wheel. So I spent the next couple hours with Fred in the parking lot, freezing my ass off, trying to explain to the stupid cops what had happened. Anyway, that's my story and i'm sticking to it...
All I really got for now. And by the way...still miss my girlfriend...and all of you....Merry Christmas.

-Bren

12/22/2004

And I don't wanna come back down from this cloud. Its taken me all this time to find out what I need.

Hey Gang. Only a few days left till XMas. Went to see Ocean's Twelve yesterday at the movie theatre. Was pretty decent. I still recommend the classic Sinatra version over the new one and this sequel. Anyway, just a quick update to say hello and post a quick list. I'm actually writing this during the commercial break for late night X-files repeats on TNT. So, today's show is of course, X-Files. Such a great show.
Anyway, I'll update more fully tomorrow or thursday with a full list and general summary of the last few days. I actually do have stories to tell, but dont feel like writing them out right now. So, stay tuned for further updates. Same bat time, same bat channel.

-Bren

12/19/2004

Daddy always smiled, and took me by the hand, saying "someday, you'll understand."

Today, I remember my father. Joseph Lorenz Fitzpatrick.
October 1949- December 19, 1986

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees. Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven.

-Eric Clapton Tears In Heaven




He said, I was in my early 40's
with alot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, Lookin' at the x-Rays Talkin' 'bout the option and talkin' bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
How's it hit you when you get that kinda news,
man whatcha do?
CHORUS ------- He said, I went skydivin', I went rocky mountain climbing. I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Foo Man Chu, and I love deeper and spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness, I'd been denyin' and he said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying -------
he said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all of the sudden going fishing wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well, I finally read the good book and I took a good hard look at what I'd do if I could do it all again
like tomorrow was a gift
and you got eternity to think about what to do with it what could you do with it?
what can I do with it?
and what would I do with it?
(Repeat Chorus)

Tim McGraw Live Like You Were Dying


Thanks for reading guys. Merry Christmas and all that.

-Bren

12/17/2004

She says, "it's cold outside", and she hands me a rain coat. She's always worried 'bout things like that.

Hey gang....well I'm home. Its been a weird first couple of days. Some good stuff: Got to see the extended edition of Return of the King on DVD. And, both my brothers and my sister will all be here for Christmas.
Some bad stuff: I miss Tota. I miss Greenwood too, which is an odd feeling. I miss hanging out with everyone. Oh, and I got my grades and they weren't as great as I'd hoped, which dampens my usual holiday cheer.
Well, not much to say right now. Putting up the christmas tree tomorrow. We have one of those stupid fake ones that you put together and take apart every year. Its a pain in the arse.
Anyway, guess thats all. Maybe more later. Listening to Tota's CD she gave me for christmas right now.

Oh, here's a quick list:

Book of the week: Lancelot by Walker Percy
Song: (Dual award this week) Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd and No Sugar Tonight by The Guess Who.
Website: www.penny-arcade.com

-Bren

12/15/2004

Tell me would it be all right, if i just crashed here tonight?

Hey gang, its late...just got back from Huddle House and Karaoke. Thought I'd post tonight's track list from Karaoke of songs I sung. I think this is gonna become a thing I do every tuesday/wednesday after Karaoke. This week was a mixed bag, as usual for me. I sing a pretty strange mix of rock, country and old stuff.

1. Till I hear it from you- Gin Blossoms
2. All of me- Frank Sinatra
3. 3:00 am- Matchbox Twenty
4. I Cross My Heart- George Strait
5. Outside- Staind

Song of the night was Eric's rendition of No Sugar Tonight, by the Guess Who. Man he can rock the hell out of that song six ways from Sunday.
Anyway, off to Columbia tomorrow afternoon. Take care, and hope to see you all at some point when I get back. Have a great break.

-Bren

12/13/2004

I don't wanna take advice from fools, I'm just thinking everything is cool, until I hear it from you...

So its been a pretty easy exam week for me all things considered. My history exam was way easier than it should have been, which has me a little worried. Played poker last night, came in fourth. One slot short of finishing in the money. I'm not too disappointed though, cause everyone I play with really needs the money more than I do. We're a sad group of poker players, all scrounging our piggie banks and change jars to have enough for the buy in. Matt won for the second week in a row. He's becoming a really good poker player, at least as much as that he can read every person at the table and bet accordingly. I started out pretty strong by taking some crazy straight draws that panned out, and some that didn't that I bluffed had.
Roleplaying tonight, Karaoke tomorrow, and then its off to Columbia to go home for Christmas on Wednesday (after I have lunch with Tota). I'm kinda nervous about going home. This will be the first time I've been home for more than 4 days since last christmas. My mom and I kinda have a rocky relationship. Things have been good lately between us, I'm just hoping it stayts that way. The "christmas spirit" should help out with that a little, and my sister will be down, who I havent seen in over a year.
Here's a poem about going home that I wrote a while back:


Trip To Knowhere Version 2.0

Cold steel
Rattles all around him.
His body aches
As both heart and mind have been running
Marathons.
They keep pace
With this rumbling vessel.
As it winds down the road
To destinations known.
However,
Reasoning behind
These travels eludes him,
As he gazes out
The mirrored glass window
And into the cool
Calculating pools
Where his eyes should be.
He is reminded of happier times.
Of a life that
Doesn’t
Cant
Shouldn’t
Belong to him.
He sinks
Deeper
So deep that if his mother saw hi8m
She’d tell him to sit up straight
In that nagging, grating voice
That she had practiced
Since she was a child
Playing house.
That voice
Echoes in his ear.
And so he stares harder,
Trying to forget.
Trying to imagine himself
Anywhere,
Anywhere butHere.


Another one I wrote for poetry class last semester. Its one I like a lot, but that's because its probably one of the more personal ones I've written.
Even though I'll be gone on Wednesday, I should be able to update while I'm in Columbia. I'm sure you'll hear from me wether things go good or bad. Happy holidays all.
Oh, almost forgot, here's this week's list (enjoy!):

Quote: "The love you make is equal to the love you take." -Paul McCartney
Movie: Ocean's 11 (1960s version w/ Sinatra, Dino, and Sammy)
Book: I, Jedi by Michael J. Stackpole
Album: New Miserable Experience The Gin Blossoms



12/09/2004

I'm not scared to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find, the better part of me.

I just wrote a 5 page paper for existential philosophy, well six if you count the works cited page, which I do. Thought I should post it up here for all to see. (Yeah right, like anybody but 3 people read this.....)
Anyway, enjoy.

Brendan Fitzpatrick
Phil. 315
Existential Philosophy
9 December 2004
Who’s That Dark Brooding Guy in the Corner Booth?:
Defining the Existential Hero in Comic Book Literature
Comic book literature has been a part of popular culture since the early 1900s. The comic book genre has seen many ups and downs throughout its history. However, one common element that has always been a factor in their distribution and their popularity was that “comics were for kids”. This fact remained a constant for over 50 years, until the mid-eighties, when a new kind of super hero was born. He was known as the anti-hero, or the existential hero. His books were dark, bloody, and violent. While being on the side of “good”, he didn’t care what rules he had to break in order to see justice served. He was always a brooding, vengeful, loner, who appears to those around him to be out for himself. As Nietzsche would say, these heroes are, “sensitive to the horror and terror of reality”, however, they choose to do something about it, no matter what the cost.
Dark heroes such as, The Crow, and Wolverine (X-Men), are prime examples of the existential hero in comic book literature. They each can be classified under Nietzsche’s term, “The Last Man”. Each of these “heroes” is just an ordinary man, until one day he is struck by a great tragedy, thus becomes an outcast, who seeks revenge against those who have wronged him. He wishes peace and justice dispensed upon “the wicked” or those who wronged him. Each of these characters goes through some sort of tragic event that makes them want to do this.
In The Crow, created and written in 1994 by J. O’Barr, the main character is a young man in his twenties named Eric. His perfect life is shattered one night when a gang of thieves, high on drugs, rape and kill his wife on a lonely stretch of highway where the two of them were celebrating their anniversary. The gang also shot Eric, but he survived. After he recovers, he becomes a vigilante, hunting the gang members by night. He takes on the name, “The Crow”, which symbolizes his return from the dead. Eric’s motivation is purely existential. His actions and motivations can be paralleled to a quote from Keirkegard, which says, “What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know…the thing is to find a truth and idea for which I can live and die.” Eric lives through being shot, set on fire, cut with knives and swords, and being blown up until his task is completed. Once the final gang member is killed, Eric goes to the graveyard where his girlfriend is buried, and kills himself.
After he has survived the death of his fiancé, Eric decides consciously that only he can save the world from itself. Nietzsche states in his book, Beyond Good and Evil, that,
Even the body (within which individuals treat each other as equals), if it is a living and not a dying body, has to do to other bodies what the individuals within it refrain from doing to each other; it will have to be an incarnate will to power, it will strive to grow, spread, seize, become predominate- not from any morality or immorality, but because it is living, and because it is simply will to power. (Nietzsche).
The will to power is a struggle within the self, between taking living and dying. Eric makes a conscious choice to accept his fate. He embraces it, and brings the pain he feels inside himself, into the deaths of his enemies.
When the X-Men were first introduced as characters, Marvel Comics was making a statement about tolerance by having a group of mutants who were so blatantly non-human saving the world. The mutants became the oppressed race, and regular, ordinary human beings became the villains. However, the direction of the X-Men, and its focus, was changed with the introduction of the character, Wolverine, also known as Logan.
Wolverine, unlike his counterparts who were sensitive to the public’s perception of them, was a pure anti-hero who didn’t care what anybody thought of him. He was gruff, dark, mysterious, and definitely a loner. However, some of the mystery behind his character’s origin and past was revealed in 2001, when Marvel produced a six-issue back-story entitled, Origin. The book focused on a young Logan, who through the death of his father discovers his mutant powers. The work also reveals that Logan’s real name is James Howlett. Page one of the first chapter entitled “The Hill”, opens with the following lines, “That there building is the Howlett Estate. They say it was built on a foundation of tears” (Jenkins 1). Logan, just like Eric, never wants to be a hero. He is thrust into that role through a series of unfortunate incidents and circumstances beyond his control.
Wolverine’s story is rooted in both Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Quest”, and Keirkegard’s “Rotation Method”. “The Rotation Method” tells us there are two types of individuals, each one seeking change. The “External Individual” sees a problem with the world around him, and thus seeks new surroundings in order to solve it. Origin paints Logan as this kind of individual. He constantly runs from his surroundings whenever he has problems. The other kind of individual is the “Internal Individual”, which is someone who sees a problem within himself, and seeks out change or growth. The “external” believes that nothing is his fault, that the world is screwed up, and the “internal” believes that he is the problem, that he, himself is screwed up. When Wolverine joins the X-Men, he is forced to stop running, and becomes an internal individual. He starts seeking out the questions to who he is, instead of hiding from them.
These two characters are only the tip of the iceberg as far as the existential hero in recent comic literature goes. Even the billionaire playboy turned night-stalker Batman, who is a classic super hero who dates all the way back to the golden-age of comics, gets a complete make over in the early nineties with Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. An aging Bruce Wayne comes out of retirement to don the cape and mask one last time as the world comes crumbling down around him under the threat of nuclear holocaust. He even ends up fighting the ultimate boy-scout super hero, Superman, who has become a government agent, who’s job it is to hunt down the last of the super heroes in the world. Similar to this story is Alan Moore’s The Watchmen, a twelve-volume work that focuses on a group of retired super heroes who are mysteriously being killed off one by one. The main character, Rorschach, is the only one who hasn’t let government sanctions against super-heroes put him into retirement. When his friends begin to be murdered around him, he goes into action to find out who is behind it.
As society has become more violent and blood thirsty for answers to all of life’s questions, the comic book industry has kept pace. With themes such as mass murder, nuclear war, and suicide, the pure hero who is out for “truth, justice, and the American way”, has taken a back seat to the dark, brooding anti-heroes that are offered up at the local comic book store. They seem to have a deeper connection with humans, how we live, and how we feel. They don’t have all the answers, but they ask a lot of the same questions we are asking ourselves, and sometimes it is just good to know that you are not alone.













Works Cited

Jenkins, Paul, et al. Origin. New York: Marvel Enterprises Inc, 2001

Kaufman, Walter, ed. The Portable Nietzsche. New York: Penguin Books, 1976

Luper, Stephen. Existing: An Introduction to Existential Thought.
Mountain View, CA: Mayfield Publishing Company, 2000.

Moore, Alan. The Watchmen. New York: DC Comics Inc, 1987.

O’Barr, James. The Crow. Northampton: Kitchen Sink Press, 1994.0

Trushell, John M. “America Dreams of Mutants: The X-Men- Pulp Fiction, Science
Fiction, and Superheroes.” The Journal of Popular Culture. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing Company, 2004.

12/08/2004

The anser my friend, is blowin in the wind.

Been a busy last few days for me. The movie was good, decided that I didn't need to post a review after all. If it had been better or a lot worse I probably would have. Hung out all day saturday with Tota, which was great. The service at huddle house sucked, so we got ice cream at this place in the mall that was pretty good. Played poker on sunday and came in dead last after finishing third the last several weeks. Spent the rest of Sunday night/Monday morning downloading Eric's entire CD collection into my computer's juke box. Took until about 6:00am. Was well worth it though. Got in a few hours of sleep, then went to work. I have two exams this week, the first at 8 am thursday. Tomorrow will consist of finishing my final project for philosophy class that is due at my thursday exam time. I'm hoping to also get in a little christmas shopping between lunch and work, not sure if that'll happen though.
I went to karaoke tonight at Jeff's grill. Keeper was there, and she hung out with us, which was very cool.
Anyway, here's a list of song's I sang tonight, the last of which I will post the words to since tota has never heard it.

Wanted, Dead or Alive- Bon Jovi (w/eric doing back up)
With, or Without You- U2
Wish I didn't Know Now- Toby Keith
Everything I Love- Alan Jackson
Drops of Jupiter- Train
Dolphin's Cry- Live

The Dolphin's Cry- Live

The way you're bathed in light,
reminds me of that night
god laid me down into your rose garden of trust
and I was swept away
with nothing left to say
some helpless fool
yeah I was lost in a swoon of peace
you're all I need to find
so when the time is right
come to me sweetly, come to me
come to me.
Love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
Oh yeah, we meet again
it's like we never left
time in between was just a dream
did we leave this place?this crazy fog surrounds me
you wrap your legs around me
all I can do to try and breathelet me breathe so that I
so we can go together!
Love will lead us, alright
love will lead us, she will lead us
can you hear the dolphin's cry?
see the road rise up to meet us
it's in the air we breathe tonight
love will lead us, she will lead us
Life is like a shooting star
it don't matter who you are
if you only run for cover, it's just a waste of time
we are lost 'til we are found
this phoenix rises up from the ground
and all these wars are over.



Anyway, that's the song. Love that song. I know way too many people who can sing it better than i can though.

"My ego gets confused because she's fearless...." Devil's Holy Joke, Seven Mary Three

-Bren


12/03/2004

Coffee Black, and egg whites....

So, today I met Jessi. She's an awesome artist. I wish I had the slightest bit of artistic talent in me, but alas, the theatre is the life for me. I've decided to try something on here, and see if I keep up with it. Every couple of days I'm gonna have a daily song, musical artist, movie, tv show, and book, followed by random bursts of my poetry, and quotes, quotes are fun.
I may not do all of them every time, but being this is the inaugural one, I'll do everything.

So here's the first one:

Movie: Almost Famous
TV Show: That 70s Show
Song of the day: Like a Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan
CD of the day: A Perfect Circle, eMOTIVe
Book: The Exorcist, William Peter Blatty (We need a young priest, and an old priest)

Today's quote:
"Wait, and hope." -The Count of Monte Cristo



Castles in the sun

Not all Golden Castles are made of sand,
But stone washes away just the same.
Waves rolling from the ocean
In silver ranks the consistency of soup
At the end of the day
When the flaming sun
would normally make us smile and laugh.
The silence is breathtaking,
And we lay in each other’s arms
Thinking of the crucifixion of
Thousands of cats left spread eagle on the sidewalk
Beside the asphalt riptides,
between the skyscrapers.

-by Bren, Katie Baker, Eric Knight, David Brothers, Sarah Hershey, and Martin Fertelli (Poetry Group from Carol Wilson's class last semester.)

Going to the movies tomorrow, I'll probably do a quick review of it after I get back.

Exit Number One

Welcome to my lost highway. This is my first time trying something like this. Its weird. Maybe I'll get used to it as I go along. My name is Brendan, or as some of you may know me, Dr. Fish. Supposedly my little creation here is the "in" thing right now, which means this will last about two months. Anyway.....There's probably gonna be alot of blank space on this thing, just to forewarn you all. So yeah.....this is it. Enjoy. I guess it would only be fitting for me to start off my journal that i've entilted "my lost highway" with a poem that I wrote a while back called....guesses? Anyone? My Lost Highway Dream. Feel free to comment.

My “Lost Highway” Dream

I had this dream the other night.
I was walking through the highways
Behind your deep blue eyes,
When night fell. The darkness
Was thin, like some sleazy dress
That has been worn and worn
By you over the years. I stop
And stare. It fell too fast, and I
Missed my exit.
Suddenly there were headlights
Coming up from behind me.
The car stopped, and the window
Rolled down. A familiar, knowing
voice said, “Need a lift?”
I paused, unsure of what to do.
My mother had always said
Never to accept a ride from a stranger.
“He who hesitates is lost.”
I replied to the passenger side mirror.
I then turned away from the car,
Off the side of the highway,
And walked into the woods.Deeper into the darkness.

Anyway, thats it for this first post. Be back soon.
Maybe.

-Bren